Eel Fishing

By dcasey

if you're ever skint in London and hungry eel fishing is the awnser they're a doddle to catch , taste good and you can catch them in the Thames which is the river that runs through London so you'll never be far away from it .A friend was catching them and told me they taste good i asked what like and he said like trout now this i didn't beleive as i've tried jellied eels and they were disgusting but i caught wild brown trout as a youngster in Ireland so know what a true wild trout tastes like as opposed to a supermarket one so i decided to try for myself . They're easy to catch the best bait is Chicken preferably Halal if you're skint just go to Iceland and you can get a couple of legs near the sell-by date for 50p alternatively go to you're local Paki butchers and get a couple of hallal legs for about 80p you can also barter while you're in the Indian shop for example just tell them you're a bit skint but if they give you say 4 pieces you'll catch about 6 eels big ones and you'll bring back 2 for them they like that as they like to make an Eel curry . If you change you're mind and don't bring them back to them just don't go back to the shop again and make sure you remember 'cos if they see u around they'll chase u down the road . Also word gets around that the fishing is good so u have to expect that as u go to you're spot the Pakis will turn up mobhanded as they like to get in on the action but don't worry too much as they're fishing methods are pretty lame usually mackerel feathers which they've used back in the river Ganges but eels feed off the bottom so they won't catch any .If you can't bring yourself to do this and are still skint then just nick a couple of legs from the Iceland store while doing it nick a packet of Cadbury's Smash while you're at it as this will come in handy later don't worry too much about getting nicked as Iceland does everything at a discount so they're security staff are usually too underpaid to be bothered to give chase .
Anyway back to basics make sure use a lead weight and get that chicken to the bottom and the bites will soon come those eels fight like wildcats so b careful sometimes it takes two of us to lift one out so hard they fight .In fact where we fish there's so much toot floating about i think some has fallen in the River and energised the eel more than usual . When you've got them out on the bank they'll squiggle about a lot but here's a trick and the sad part just stroke the eel on her underside and she'll lay down very calm for you cut the line , don't bother trying to get the hook out as you'll be there all day , and pop the eel into a big plastic bag the eel lives out of water for a long time so will be o.k.Some of those Thames eels are as big as lamposts (check the pics to see )one . If you have to go back home by Bus make sure the plastic bag is tied tight 'cos if the eel gets out you'll be even more unpopular than you usually are .
When you get home get two friends to hold the back of the eel get a small axe and chop it's head off very sharp knife slit the underside remove insides and you're ready to go . Chop the eel into small salmon steak like slices boil a pan add parsley fry butter into a pan some of the eel slices coat in flour and pop into the frying pan the rest pop into the boiling water after 10-15 mins theyre basically done mix up you're cadbury's smash that you nicked earlier and you 're nearly there for a final touch get some flour make into a paste like when you make custard add this to some of the water you boiled the eels in and this will make the wonderful green liquor you get in the pie and mash shops .That's it ! and when you taste that beautiful eel it will taste just like wild brook trout !
Also just remember there are other long term benefits in doing this as well for example you can fuck that Gordon Ramsay Haggis face off forever also you don't have to worry about that mockney jamie oliver twat nicking you're recipe either as he'll be eating his grandma's jellied eels for the next 20 yrs ...and you thought Izaak Walton was good . The only drawback we've found to date is that the next day you're stomach feels like it's got a bit of lead pipe in it we haven't quite worked that one out yet ....

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